giving up or moving on?

am I giving up? or am I moving on? if I gave up, what did I gave up to? and if I'm moving on, where? .. At the moment I have no clue.. I just know I had to do something, and I did, and as far as I can see, I'm made the RIGHT decision.

ground

You’re right. You’ve been right all along. I’m just no one, at least not grounded in anything. I was not and still not until this moment. And maybe its late for me to realize this (well I’m always late in my life) but late is better than never, right? At the moment I really need some time to look and see the future ahead of me. Doing what I’m doing at the moment is nice, but at some point I think I’m gonna be stuck if don’t make any changes soon. I realized that I wanna do more important things than what I’m doing now, something that made a better impact in peoples lives. It doesn’t mean that what I’m doing at the moment is not important, but lets just say that this is not what I wanna do for the rest of my life. And yea, I wanna be grounded, something which unfortunately will not make me jump from one place to another as I have been so far. But its time to put myself to the ground. 

teacher

One of my passions is teaching. I like to talk. and I plan to use my gifts in ways that it can be blessings for others. But I never had any formal pedagogical education before. I just use these natural gifts backed by experience. Interestingly enough, I've been teaching for 7 years in total, in trainings through sessions, in class as a teacher, and in many other ways possible. Now I know that I can’t live it without it. I guess it’s in my blood and it runs in the family too. My dad, my mom and my only brother, we all know how to talk :p I guess it’s more towards sharing this life of mine, my perspectives and my experiences which really matters most. The question is now, should I pursue a formal pedagogical education in order to be able to share with more people? Will I ever be a formal teacher? 

Blessing in disguise

His Name is Sabar, or patience in English.

He owns a small repair shop, and I met him because I had a flat tire, no cash in my wallet, and almost no gasoline in my bike. perfect isn't it? just as the usual me. But somehow I still felt calm. I looked around a bit at his place, so clean and tidy. Not even a single trash around that place.This is weird, never saw this before in such an area. More weird when we started to talk. He mentioned about Pascal and Boyle when we're talking about my flat tire. really cool and awesome!! never met a guy like this before.

As he finishes his job, I noticed that he was limping. Then my eyes stumbled to a crutch next to a tire inside his small repair shop. I started another conversation about his life where he started sharing about his, a bit.. about what had happened to him five years ago that he barely can walk anymore because of a nerve constringency on his thigh. It has been operated sometimes this year, but he had a swollen knee then, huge one, even bigger than his thigh he said, until 5 weeks ago it has became smaller and smaller till now. "Its because of the sun", he told me. "It help to reduce the swollen" I can still see his knee a bit big though..

Then I asked him about his family and kids.. their school and stuff. He has 2 children, 7 and 12 years old. I gave him my name card before I left, and just before that, he asked me, are you a Christian? and I answered him, "yes.. how do you know?" He replied " by the pendant that you're wearing" It is the Taize pendant... I smiled.. I told him it looks more like a bird, but he insisted "Its still a cross to me"...

I left that small tiny place with a big smile on my face..
he's my blessing in disguise today.