X mas is here?

x mas has passed...
but where is it? i didn't realize that at all
i didn't realize its coming..

flying back home, again

tomorrow i'll be flying back home..

but this time i feel like i wasn't ready to go..

still lots of thing to do or my prep for coming home is not ready...

weird..i'm coming to my freedom but i don't feel happy

excited yeaa.. but not happy....

but i really want to go home...

its just weird..

so well, i'll be flying back home, again....

Who?

I was walking on water.... or feel like water, i guess
I see the distance, its a horizon filled with birds flying, clouds whispering
i smile seing the glorious wonder and i looked down..
there's an image of me
i keep smiling till i see that the image is not smiling...
i wonder why....
i looked closer, i even step and move my feet around on the water to make sure i am seeing the same image
it still didn't smile...
i take my time to think while the sun lower herself down to sleep
i see the image back and forth, no changes...
till it finally dissapear when the world turn over
"its not me!!" i shouted..
but why is it looked like me?

another time of the year

this is the end of 2005...
the last month.
i dunno where to put my heart...or where my heart is
its somewhere blur or on a crossover
hard to try to picture a beautiful end.
Hope floats everywhere for open hearted & opened eyes
but sometimes we just don't want to open it
coz when its closed you'll see nothing, feel nothing
maybe just a sense of quietness and peace
is it?

blebeQ..blebeQ

i'm drowning.....
i don't know where and why...BlebeQ blebeQ
i'm just drowning...
blebeQ...

ends...

finally it ends.. i'm off the training season..yipiee!! =D
relief it brings, yes...
now i can do more things... reading, watch movies, playing, have fun.. & definitely take a rest for a while.... and other things as well
but at the same day, it also ends a life of a friends father...
deepest condolence for you adit..

wel, every start has an ending...
and every ending always marks another new start...

2 more... 2 more!

just 2 more training n it's over!
yup.. i'll be sittin behind my table again, working on new progams for next year. usually i don't really like working behind tables and i prefer camps and training.. but, well.. when you're full loaded with these things.. you just hope it ends...
& well, after all this non stop camp & training season, finally it will end.. at least i'm not in charge anymore when there's another training this year... =P
i can rest my body and began to sharpen my mind again..
which i need badly.. hehehe
so this weekend says it all... n after that...
I'm FREE baby!!!

online..

i woke up this morning n found out that my computer has been online for 2 hours...

nobody was here, just me...strange...

did i dream, turn my computer on n didn't realized any of it?

i don't know..

black coffee..

i got this from a friend.. a coffeemania i guess =P

you drink coffee not because it's sweet
but more because it's bitter..
coz then you hope it'll make you feel better

bitter and better... two words that separated by a vocal
but had far different meaning
but when u feel bitter and you get better
thats when life counts..
wel, eventually everything will get better don't it?

november rain

hah! gak nyangka dah lama gak ngisi ni blog.. kangen juga hehehe
banyak sih things that happen with me during this time..
frustration, tired, lonely, weak, kebanyakan sih itu..hehe
haven't been my best days

but i know its a test... its a training for me to be better.. to be stronger..
to have more faith and keep being happy..
to explore my leadership, upload my wisdom & patience...
ah, just to be better deh pokoknya...

lots of sad stories around me this month..
and it happen to people and friends that i care...
must've been hard these days... dunno why it all happened at the same time..
well, i guess it hadn't been the best days for them as well..
break ups and break down.. none of them r good to see or hear

as the word said..
its just another november rain..
hangin' there everybody, the sun will go up again for us!!

Magic

Magic still happen.. or is it miracle?
hard to tell the difference in this matter..
but something happened at camp that is hard to tell...
one thing to say is.. God is so amazing!

when do you ever held something in a rainy season and everytime you're doing the activity, the rain stopped, while in other places it rained heavily? this is just not one time, but continuously when we are outside camp doing outdoor activity, from morning till night... and when we're not on the show, thats when the rain dropped ... one word.. amazing!

that's one of the small miracle.. but that's not what i'm talking about
this camp changes lives... in a flick
its amazing how i can see all these..

2 more push your personal limit camp this week
its time now, to push our limit!
and we'll see the magic, and the beauty of God....

PUSH YOUR PERSONAL LIMIT

It's coming again...
the Push Your Personal Limit Camp season
its always... always fun.. hahahaha...
tiring definitely and the theme works for us as well
we have to push our butt on makin this camp worked out
dealing with the nature is harder than anything
stil.. we can enjoy all of them nicely =D
and see how God is soo good.. and incredible!
He is an awesome God indeed..

this time the flow run smoother than the last one..
each of us understood the purpose and it helped a lot in working together
3 waves are still on the way, it's a good beginning and a good start
so, gotta push my own limit then...
back to camping site sunday...

kid...

I’m a kid...

I’m still a kid.

Or at least i still act and think like one....

Meat

Today i made a resolution to be a vegan for 5 days..

And tommorow starts my fasting week..

No meat, sugar, egg, chocolate, and similar stuff

We’ll see what’ll happen

Perfect day, almost....

Today is a wonderful day.. a great and perfect.

I began with a smile, loads of prayer, such a beautiful time

My best friend is getting married today... congrats for you man!

12 years!! Never found someone who can last a relation that long

Come to the wedding with robert, tons of inspiration

Everything went well... perfectly well,

Until i was hit by a bus... damn! Couldn’t react much about it as well..

The car was wrecked enough to made me shocked

Don’t how much it’ll cost to fix it...
Just a perfect day,.. almost

anniversarry

todays my parents anniversarry...
quite fun.. but why do i suddenly feel so alone?
....

homee !!!!

eventhough i never feel i have a home =P,
but the tag line shows everything in my mind
i miss this blog more than ever this week =D

HOmE.. or at least this place i could sleep,
i could open my computer and write,...
read mails, chat and whatever ....

so, here i am...
back @ home...

at a glance...

I happen to get the chance to came back from puncak.

Tomorrow i had to teach @ school

it always brings pleasure, this school thing...

but these days its harder than ever...

i still love the atmosphere and stuff, but with new team and new curicculum, its full of challenge which right now i'm not quite ready to deal with...

and i don't wanna make this an experiment, their just too precious

these 2 days were so tiring, i felt tensed and exhausted..

the kids r difficult to control but in the end today went well and i just love it!
so,

in the middle of the night, with whats left in my body,

i just hope the best for tomorrow even though i could only feel it at a glance...

morning....

Funny how I always wake up early in the morning

no matter how tired I am at nite or the whole day,

i just end up wakin up early, just like today....

maybe it has become my body mechanism..

or is it my unconcious mind?

well....

actually it is nice to wake up early...

u can just pray to start a day and when u go outside

u can see a beautiful morning ...

u can start an early day...

a way to live your life longer, as long as you're healthy enough =D
so hi,

good mornin' World...

good mornin' God...

i wish it would be a good day for me.. 

and to all

Lag..

i just hate lagging...
specially right now! ....
hehehehehehee.....

condolence...

A friend of mine has just lost his dear girlfriend...

tragic, when they were supposed to get married this year...

with only months to count,

every dream fade away

every laughter ease away

every hope seemed to lost its place...

I wish her in heaven for a better place to live

She's safe now my friend...

deepest condolence for you, vo...

when I don't know ...

What is the purpose of living?

What is the meaning of anything I've been living...?

I live my days with happiness

I live my life with give thanks

So why? why do I have to receive all this?

When everything had an answer.. maybe i'll know

Why my life is such like this..

For now, i just have to live it, though maybe right now i don't want to

though maybe i don't know where to go...

I'll just have to keep living...

keep fighting and searching my friend...

He has His own will in your life...

How hard and tough it would be...

Hang in there...

(a tribute to bravo, a very nice and kind friend)

up.. up.. up and away....

remember those lines?

wel, finally it had to come...

today i return from heaven

back to the earth, step my feet back on the ground

i'm sad allrite, but this time it leaves hope

a hope....

for a brighter future...

for a better tomorrow ...

tik..tok..tik..tok...

tick...tock....tick...tock....

time is ticking very fast...

soon the best days are gonna be over...

gonna be pretty sad,

but it'll leave something beautiful,

something worth living for...

something worth fighting for....

tick... tock...tick...tock...

FLying Free

its a song i heard last nite..

remembering all the past in life,

about love and pain, and walk to the future,

being a gift of joy....

There is a place I call my own

where I can stand by the sea,

and look beyond the things I've known,

and dream that Ii might be free

Like the bird above the trees

gliding gently on the breeze,

I wish that all my life I'd be

without a care, and flying free!

But life is not a distant sky

without a cloud, without rain

and I can never hope

that I can travel on without pain.

Time goes swiftly on its way

All too soon we've lost to way

All too soon we've lost to day

I can not wait skies of blue

or dream so long that life is through.

So life's a song that i must sing,

a gift of love I must share

And when I see the joy it brings

my spirit soar to the air

Like that bird up in the sky,

life has taught me how to fly

For now I know what I can be

and now my heart is flying Free!

Weekend

Last weekend was a loong holiday

My uncle got married on Saturday and somehow I could be there.

On Friday we pick up my parents @ the airport then go straight to Bogor.

There’s this bidstond service and it was fun... no formal stuff and we had a nice nite, yet it wasn’t complete

without the Yunus family, specially bloton.. my sparing cousin

The nite went long and we slept late...

Tired and sleepy, no time for surfing around Bogor.

The wedding went well...

But that’s not what I want to write...

What I’m trying to say was I had lots of fun, my fam and the “Big Mob Clan”...

Time went on and we went to desa gumati for dinner along with Bloton and Sisca, Oci, Mum and Dad, and

Obet who showed us the place…

Its beautiful @ nite, the place is huge with Balinese natural Atmosphere…

In the end… I’m happy 

But hey, these days… everything just amazes me how it could happen this way

Sometimes I feel like I’m still dreamin’ the whole time

I wish I could keep on dreamin’ …

What a day!... its just so funny

Swell,.... i have to say that today is different than the other dayz...

well ye this past month has been different all the way, but todays just different

let me start with wakin' up =D

today i planned to wake up early so i can rush to buns and wake her up and miss all the traffic... =P

but what happened was i wake up late, very late indeed than what i had planned earlier..so i rushed, and got stucked in the traffic damn jam.. :(

it took me about 1,5 hours to get there!!

and so we went to the DepKeh.. or whatever it should said =P, met this guy, who works very very slow and seemed that he was hoping for some 'charity'... lots of question spark in mind.

are all government staff like him? wow, what a country we have here...=p

no surprise at all

after this and that...we had to wait till 12 o 'clock until finally (pheeww) its completed without having us paid him more..or at least the way this guy wanted.. we went straight away, again, rushing traffic and the 'hotty' whether to DepLu.. no serious obstacles there, but bun was quite tense... it showed clearly on her face =P...

after finishing all that, we celebrate a bit for what been done today with an ice cream and diet coke, and for me,.. a nice cold sarsi. went back to buns and hurry back to CL coz we were supposed to met my Bro there, to pick up my parents...

yup...my parents are coming to jakarta today... or suppossedly hehehe...

the thing is ... my dad missed the flight! how stupid can it be when he, above all people told us so many things about managing life...hehehehe... so i had to change all the plans..

We circled CL and bought some stuff... i bought an adidas adventure shoes for Cilllan and got myself a nice black shoe i've been looking for lately.. yay! i forget the time is ticking!

wel, at the end i just felt that i should behave and control my self better, specially with time and responsibility.. to God, myself, and my family

its just a funny day, i'm just glad that i can close this day with a simple give thanks to the Father...

i'm very happy and i really treasure every moment He's given us..

what a day...

ONE WORD!

i got this idea when i was talkin' with buns...

a looong meaningful quality talk i say....

i get this one word to write in this blog.....

actually this is her trademark..

a trademark that i say can change the world...ha..

its simple, but can boost people's life and create new hopes

my friend today stated that from this word, she manage to lift her life and finished her thesis....

and this trade mark, should stay and lived in her live forever, right? =D

i even copy paste this word to myself and others... and it went perfectly well...

so, wanna know what is this one word?

its...

S.E.M.A.N.G.A.T

Titondut's Birthday!

ey, today's my best friends birthday!!

happy birthday titonduts... semoga tetep ndut dan lebaaar =D

He's a best friend i'll always have though we didn't contact each other a lot

Wish u all the best man!

to the NEW world

few days ago a dear friend of mine has just been accepted to PIXAR class!!

how wonderful could that be?? WOW! its just amazing!

it must've been a new start for something BIG!

i even tremble a bit when i heard the news yesterday..

and then u get happy news and good things around you just keeps coming and coming to you...

You even never had the time to think about problems you're facing

coz it is never a problem anymore... and there's God, beside U....

watching, giving, caring, smiling.... so full of love

what else can you ask? =D

so, i'm feeling like i was just born to this world... a new world

such new things, new stories, new dreams, new life...

r u feeling the same way ? =D

i hope you do....

so, i'm feeling like i was just born to this world... a new world

such new things, new stories, new dreams, new life...

r u feeling the same way ? =D

i hope you do....

I imagine one day i go to the cinema,

watch an animation movie and see a name that familiar to me..=D

hehehehe.... isn't it incredible?

counting the days, again....

well, been there, done that..
still you can't control or beat what so called TIME..

everytime you tried your best to make the days count, there'll be a time to end it all...

and everytime it happened, no matter how happy you are, you'll end up thinking...

How can it last longer...??

the answer is..

it can't

today for instance... so many plan popped up..

its exciting, but then things come up that you can't predict

soon, you'll noticed that the time is up for today.

tommorow, the day after... on and on...

until the time has come

you tried your best to make it worth

but sometimes, it has nothing to do with you at all

that what you do can't change anything...

you just have to accept, and try to enjoy every second of it....

now i'm counting the days,...again...

days of our lives

nothing much to tell..

today i break the office record to be the first employee to ask a day off @ 11 am

hehehee...

and again..i had the most wonderful day in my life...

i just can't explained it

i'm just livin the days of my life now...

happy...trully happy =D

thanks... for making this happen

i've been walking through my days to count....

one more day i've passed, only one word... thanks

its been like this everyday now

in the end of the day, the only word that can come from my heart is thanks...

You've been so good to me... 

You made these days wonderful, almost like i'm walking in the clouds... 

yet, You always reminds me to set my feet on earth..

When i recall these past days...

i couldn't felt more alive, feel so loved and full of love

Thanks for the times you've given me...

Thanks for all the wishes You made come true...

Thanks for opening my eyes about things that had happen in my life...

Thanks for opening my heart to a new life, to a new love...

I hope I can always learn and listen to you...

Thanks....

rain

rain, fallin down on me, all of the times....

i love rain, sometimes it felt so good....

makes a heart calm in a quiet nite,

you can feel every drop touching you...

felt the feeling,.. and how you can make the most of it.

I enjoyed my time yesterday nite ....

no words to describe, i just love every moments that i had... 

treasured every minute of it

but somehow it just went very fast...

you didn't even notice that suddenly it had to end and call the day

a kind of different feeling you had when the rain falls down on you,

with the wind blowing towards you,...

maybe u never had to ask any question at all, ....

just feel the rain, thats all

it was midnite, i was riding my motorbike... going back home....

Happy...?

i'm happy....

yup... yerterday i'm sooo happy

i can't remember when was the last time i felt like yesterday

probably a looooong looong time ago, coz i can't recall those moments

which i should have if i ever felt that..

i even tremble for a while =D

am i dreaming?

can't figure out what had happened or anything, i just can enjoy it...

give thanks for it

but whatever, i'm just so happy....

rollercoaster

life is like a rollercoaster...would you say?

 it take you up for a while, then suddenly it takes you dooown.. deep down

but it also doesn't take long coz you'll be goin' up again...

its life.....

my life, lately, has been rolling upside down..

naaa.. its not that i'm livin in hell or have sooo heavy problems,...

i'm talking about emotion, focus and mind

a month is enough to take you there...

ah, you just need to step up again.. 

control your feelings, set your mind and direct your focus

sometimes its just hard to do all them when you're in the kind of situation i'm in right now...

the changes are so fast, i hope i can just keep up with it...

but you can't catch a rollercoaster

you just have to go with it, whereever it takes you...

right?

good ol' days

i remember the good ol' days when i met robert today...

ah, so many great stuff we had back then with all the groups

we talk for hours..being happy with our lives coz its so wonderful when we can think back from the past..

He has become a great guy i have never imagine before

we talked about how we used to do things together, and how we grew in God together as well

the good thing is that we still want that to happen... 

so now we make a decision to grow together again...

from the good ol' days.....

...

“The best proof of love is trust.”
-Joyce Brothers-

i just got to learn from this sentence every single day =D

Glory and Honour

when i walked my way, and see things around my life, i wonder...
who might've gave me this extraordinary life and why??
the only answer came up :
because He loves me so

I had an amazing life this past months..
filled with everything that life can offer
happiness, joy, tears, fear, sorrow, sadness, love, and so much more.....
i learned a lot from it..
the same question sparks again
why??
the same answer popped up again,
because He loves me so

when the third time the same question asked
the answer this time is a bit different:
because you have to love others too

its the glory and honour to our dear lord
who made us the way we are today
how hard life would be, how desparate it can be
He wants us to listen when he said this very words...
I love U...

everyday i love you

i don't know but i believe

that somethings are meant to be

and that you make a better me

everyday i love you...

i never thought that dreams came true

but you showed me that they do

you know that i learned something new

everyday i love you.....

its the touch when i feel sad

its the smile when i get mad

all the little things i had...

everyday i love you....

weird...

all this is weird...
all day i feel very sad, pure sad...
don't have anything to do ...
on daily basis, i enjoyed life more than ever this whole month..
i get to know God more, i felt like i have more energy inside me...
and i get to know you more...

i work, happily.. hoping to end the work day with things that i've acomplished.. 

and well, sometimes i didn't give a damn about it..=D
i'm just waiting for the work bell to ring ..
take a bath (sometimes ehhehehe) and go straight away to where life is
today.. i really hate when the bell rings
had nowhere to go.. don't know what to do...
just thinking what went wrong...

but nothings wrong... its just my heart that's missing something...
last month i'm okay with this daily basis..
today, its just feel so weird.....

wish u were here...

farewell...

the day has come to say farewell...
all the days, all the love, all the joy and all the tears ...has finally come together
i just can't believe it...
till we meet again

alone

what would u do if you're alone?
being left alone is my biggest fear...
and in some kind of way, which i don't really like..
i'll be left alone very very soon..

you'll never be alone, that's true
but when someone u love leaves you, though you know that she would still love you too,
it still leave myself with the feeling of being lonely
specially when you feel a certain kind of heaven this last past weeks
and all the sudden it changes ....

so if love is beautiful, then why all i feel is hurt?
I can tell my self that i'm not alone,
that i still have her heart in me and mine in her...
I'm not alone after all...
and if love is beautiful, then i wanna feel that, every moment
when I miss her and when I think about her, I just wanna feel beautiful things in my heart,
coz what i felt so far is beauty, and i wanna keep that in mind
though she's not here with me anymore....
though distance separates us....
then i wouldn't feel lonely anymore

but at the moment that's how i feel, alone...

24 hours and more

hmm...been long gone more than one month!..
can't believe i havn't been writing all that time
happy days come and u just don't know whats next

ah.. just need more than 24 hours a day to live...
really, i don't know what to write...
i just want to pour my mind into words, but no words to describe
i'm just happy as usual, happier than before i guess...
and when ur happy u need to shape ur life better so that it won't slipped out,
and yeaa... happy is me =D
so pleaaseee, i need more than 24 hours a day! =p

dark ENDS, BATMAN begins...

soooo.... it's the Bat time...again, after 8 years of waiting, finally it arrives
well, the caped crusader which i believe had a picture just like me on the old days..
sometimes you just see the line between it...
although its different now, i'm not the man i used to be...
i'm not BATMAN anymore... =D
the thing is, the image still lock me up
but for good reason this time,..
though batman never sees himself to have a happy life, someday bruce, i believe you will find it
and you can put the bat costume to the museum, though i think u should keep the car and accesories huakakk...

yeaa.... i had a great time yesterday, not that great, but great,...
i watched it with sum1 i keep in mind, so it should make me happy..
ah, in the theater i do.. outside, i feel that there's still blocks arounds us, don't knoe why,
i just feel that we still hold ourself... any problems?
or just like BATMAN? with a mask around the face?
but its a good start.....

each and every day...

as we go on, we'll remember...
ah, a part of a song... which reminds me of everything
that makes me remember of every step of this life..
today i had a marvelous encounter, spiritual one i guess...
need to find my self for a while to get back from the feeling i had...

2 week ago, i felt HIs presence so close to me, speaking to me... and i feel awesome
the feeling i could never forget, and today, i felt the same way, the way He touched my heart and whispers.. so amazing, so beautiful..

its about prayers, and work.. how prayers could be so incredible..
its a wish come true, just this day we prayed, and in the afternoon it has been answered with such ways u can't describe with words.....
each and every day, hear... listen...
He wants to speak with you..

being happy? NOT tonite

hey hey... if u think i'm happy tonite... then u guess wrong
somehow i feel that tonite was a sad nite, after almost a year, i felt sad....=(
not much things happen actually this day, i mean, not many sad things...
i miss a chance for goin 'somewhere'.. i miss my flash disk which didn't work just now, with all my work in it..which means i had to start all over again, .... i miss someone, after quite a while..

for almost a month, i'm praying for certain things, hadn't felt the feeling since a loong time,...
had a spiritual encounter last week... being here and there almost a week..

ah... not tonite.... hope to have a better day tommorow...

shadows...

interesting theme would u say?
misterious yet familiar....
well, to cut the chase,...
i had an interesting nite

when do you ever go to pizza hut, bought salad and yet you didn't have to pay for them?
well it was the first for me,...maybe the last too...but i dunno laaa =D
believe it or not but the salad was in the house, actually the waitres bought it for me and my friend...
weird huh?
she bought it for us yet she serve us well..
we had a nice chat and laugh a bit
its just a nite shocker.. a fantastic surprise..
and i bet its not the end....
she worked to serve.. and serve to live...
she even had to mop the floor and clean the windows...perfectly well

so where does it leave us?
live to serve or serve to live ?
could shadows give a brighter image than the reflection itself ?
only questions stayed in my head...my mind and my heart
go and ask the shadows of our lives....

LOve or sOmething like it

I feel great tonite.. happy as can be..=D
nothing special though, not like i did something enormous or anything at all
i just feel happy to know that i love someone... =D
nop, that someone is not here
its just the feeling that makes me happy.. that the love i had is something beautiful
a feeling of a wonderful life.. that sparks on a dark and lonely nights...
twisting my life upside down, bringin' hopes and desire

but....
she's not here..
she only lives in my heart
a love far... far away..... far from a distinctive point of view
is it wrong to feel love eventhough no one felt that love other than me?
nop, i don't feel miserable or pity..
i dreamed this love on and on, almost every single minute of my life
hoping that one day, she'll noticed that love ...

ah, i just feel love..
a wonderful love, i guess =D
so, who do i love?

vielen dank...

teaching season will be over soon...
so funny when you can see new things, just when its about to end..
ah, its just sooo lovely and amazing
lots of new experience, new ideas....
i just love all the times with the kidz..
and lately i played with them..bowling specially..
and tomorrow we'll play futsal hehehhe...
most of all, it is a remarkable experience i won't forget
just need to say thanks to whoever makes this possible..=D
arigato... vielen dank ...nuuuhhhuuuunn pisaaaaaan!

time after time

i was walking down a road when i find out that i'm walking to a dead end...
i walked closer, trying to convince myself that its not an end..
but its an end alrite..
wel, everything had to come to an end actually,....
so it is something that i have to face..
an end

how do you see an end?
i find myself stuck in a place between regreting the situation that i hadn't do enough, and seeing another new beginning...
every end has a new beginning, like it or not..
and as time goes by, maybe we can't count how many end and how many beginning we had...
again and again...
time after time...

cool

i'm cool...
aren't i ?
what happen if you get what u wanted ?
what happen when you get a trophy for what you have done ?
r u still cool?
aren't you filled with anthusiasm n anxiety, spirit and eagerness?

so, i'm cool.......

after a while

after a while ...
i haven't been here...
not in this world, but back in my world.
a world filled with my own thoughts and feeling..
no one's in it, its only me.....

after a while,...
i thought that i would never get back unto such situations...
that everything will be allrite..
not the way i expect everything to be i guess..

after a while,
i let loose some of what i had....some of my hope, and some of my energy...
the least is that i'm still here, though i'm goin in circle..

after a while, .....
i noticed that something has been missing....
its me !

its time to get back now...

?

i know i want to write... i knoe that there's lots of things to say...
i just don't know how to write them... no words to describe...
ah,...

I will be here for U

i will be here for you
somewhere in the night..
i'll shine a light for you
somewhere in the dark
i'll be standin' by...
i will be here for you

Blast from the Past

The PAST.....
lies with memories,..good or bad..
it has to do with what we are now.. like it or not...
sometimes it shows everything who we are..
most of the time, we still live there......
and thats where the problem of life lies..

The PAST doesn't equal the FUTURE unless U live there

we may be NOT happy living our lives nowadays.. feeling jaded and lost
feeling disoriented and lonely, or perhaps really tired about life it self..
we often run...and try to hide.. but the more we ran, the more we hide....
the more we're confused about our own life..and we get really tired of it
don't run from it...don't hide from it... feel it, accept it...
and move on, move to the future...
keep your past as memories, something that u can learn and be thankful for...
then lets walk to the future.... hold my hand coz i wanna walk with you...
and share the beauty of the future... who ever you are..

@ the end of one day, still, one day =D

w3el, everything must come to an end actually, rite? =D
its a perfect day, but usually perfect doesn't come so easily...
hehehe..yup yup... during dinner hunting =P, i had a crash...

I hit a bike and wel, lets call it a bike accident..
guilty part? i raise my hands
i hit the road and wel, not much damage actually, it just torn my favorite pants and little scratch here and there, thankfully the bike is okay and the one i hit is heavenly okay too...
he didn't fell off..it was just me.. and i'm grateful that i fell, if not, then probably i would make more disaster..hehehe..
eniwei, i tried to think positively about this, ....=D
hey, i just bought a melon and i lost it... i just hope the kids around me take it, coz it would meant something for them...

the funny thing is, it doesn't effect much on my happiness as a whole...(or am i just sooo stupid??hehee...naaaa... i believe i'm not =D), besides, wel, of my pants...i made it in bandung,...need to go back there again..

so here we are, at the end of the day...
not a perfect one though, but am sure glad that its not perfect, coz where will my standards be if i called this day PERFECT??
a give thanks, again..would sealed the day... so, thanks.....

one afternoon, one day

when is the day that you can learn so much? when is the day that you felt so much?
ah, we must have those days..
maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow..

today i felt great, although still have some problems with my body..ehehe..maybe i have to pay attention to what i eat lately...=D wel, no meat and stuffs, but i think i just miss a spot on the healthy food program..
eniwei, i had LOOOTS of things to do, and til now, there r stil LOOts ...but sumhow, i felt like i did SOOOO much today, its really easy to do it and eventually many things are done!
(wel, when you dont have anything else to do, i guess u better just dig your own grave huh?hehehe..)

ah, sometimes you're just looking for happiness everywhere, while that happiness r just lying around your corner... waiting to be found.
Waiting?
yeaa... you've had it all along inside you....
you're just too busy to find it elsewhere.......

one morning, one day

today,w3ll.. hopefully will be a different day,...since last week i've made some new commitments...
now at least almost every day i woke up early, to say hi to the world today, to feel the beauty of nature every morning.. i need to STEP UP! back again and live through everything that has been going on in my life. One thing I do know is that i can give thanks for it =D for whatever happened in my life, for every purpose that has driven me to do stuff.

This morning, i remembered people that i care about..people that i love... d' kids @ school, they're just so amazing people... my family, my mom and dad, oci.... i miss them so much ..my friends who has been there for me lately...jagunk, babotax, dul dul, little angel..i'm just happy that we can pray together although we're not together... and robin, who i felt is always there, everytime...

let the new world begins, and let new lives raise and shine...let everyday be a new start for a wonderful and beautiful day, how ever it turns to be...
i began this day with give thanks, to the only one who's possible of makin' this happen...

adding up

one day you think that you're tired of this world and about your life...
one day you hope that everything will be over...
the less your life gets complicated, the more you feel better...
NAAAAAA.........

it doesn't work dat way...
the more you add up yor life with something, the more you become human,
the more you add up, the more you learn about life, the more you get strong and tough
the more you add up, the more you'll filled by love,...and strength
when you add up your life, the closest you get of being happy..

and yeaa.. everything will be over one day,
but then you can see it from another angle..
another perspective...
so just add up your life..
and see them as beautiful as it can be..

at the end......

At the beginning,... it all feel that it's gonna be GREAT!
At the beginning.... you had high hope on everything in your mind
Thats the beginning...

At the end... u had the result...
At the end... u see what really happens
At the end... you can just feel relieved that its all over..

Lots of thing crosses your mind & feeling..
bitter, tears, joy, laughter, tired, new hope..
its your call to decide ....
coz everything had to come to an end....

For The Love Of The World..and us

" For God So LOved the World, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish...but have everlasting life"


" Thou Shalt Love the LOrd thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind...thou Shalt Love thy neighbours as thyself "

Jesus Christ

Resolutions

NEW YEAR...what a common thing that happen every year
we can just fill it with with nothing, just flow like the wind
we can fill it with hope, for what we'll have for the coming year..
we can make and do things...new ones..
or we can just do nothing..
its our choice to be happy
its our lives we're living

resolutions are the best thing to do for every new year...
see what you wanna be ...set your goals and make it happen
for the world is yours today, tommorow, and forever will be....
make a new resolution..blend in to it...feel it...pray for it
MAKE YOUR LIFE HAPPEN TODAY AND FROM THIS DAY ON
HAPPY WISHING!

remember 3 things when you make resolutions...
GOD...
OTHERS....
YOURSELF...
always see that 3 things as 1.. then make your resolution

POINT of NO RETURN

as time passes by, life flows like a river
and fish are swimming searching their ways to what they called 'life'
some see their life as a circle of ponds..some see as a battle and strugle for going to the river..to find freedom

one way, one day, one destiny...
there's no point of return, no point of turning back
its the way our life goes...

we can't create time and goes back to where our happiness lies
or where our sorrow comes to the heart..
or to see what will happen in our lives

whatever happens, one thing we can do
when we regret lots of things in the past..how recent would it be,
when we wish that we can come back to the time when we want it to be
just see the meaning of your life................
and you'll see beautiful things in it...
rejoice it, resolve it...turn to GOD and say..
THANK YOU JESUS ..for what life has bring
coz theres no point of turning back,
there's POINT OF NO RETURN
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005!